A spoiler free review of The Blacktongue Thief by Christopher Buehlman.
RDR Rating 
In a world which has been irrevocably changed by a recent series of wars, Kinch Na Shannack is a trained thief indebted to the Takers Guild for an education, which allowed him to avoid the war. Desperate to pay off his debt, Kinch ends up with a band of thieves who attempt to rob a soldier, a soldier who owns a very large murder bird capable of tearing men in half. Needless to say, this is a mistake, and when Kinch finds himself alive in the aftermath he has a newfound respect for the soldier, Galva, and joins her on her quest to rescue her queen. The pair gain and lose friends along the way, all united by a few common enemies.
The first book of the Blacktongue series, The Blacktongue Thief is a high fantasy novel that is absolutely packed with action, adventure and foul language from start to finish. Needless to say, I genuinely enjoyed this book from cover to cover.
I feel like I’m always describing books as “slow burns” in my reviews, but not today friends. We are first introduced to our main character and first person narrator, Kinch Na Shannack during his impending death. Kinch’s opening lines: “I was about to die. Worse, I was about to die with bastards.” Kinch doesn’t want to take on Galva, a soldier who “walked like no-one was going to hurt her.” You see, Kinch may not be big in stature, killing may not come easy to him, and he may know only a little bit of magic, but he isn’t stupid. I think what makes Kinch such a lovable character, is his wry wit and sarcastic and often comedic observations about his companions and those they encounter. Kinch isn’t the best thief, he wasn’t cut out to be a soldier and to be honest he’s a bit of an underdog… I mean, he’s been branded with a face tattoo that encourages fellow travelers to slap him for a free half pint of beer. Despite his shortcomings, Kinch’s narration makes for an entertaining and fast paced fantasy adventure.
The fantasy world in which Kinch and Galva traverse holds a diverse horde of peoples, cultures and languages. Some have clear ties to real ones, with Kinch and his black tongued companion Norrigal, hailing from Galtia which seems to be a stand in for a Celtic setting. Names like Na Shannack and King Conmarr, and Galtic place names such as Platha Glurris meaning Shining River, seem to be vaguely Irish sounding words, and then there is the observation that Galts “say cork and kark almost the same.” Galva on the other hand is from Ispanthia and referred to as a Spanth, her obsession with wine and her “r-tapping Ispanthian accent” bring to mind a Mediterranean connection. The author himself has referred to Ispanthia as “a lost sister country to Portugal, Spain and Catalonia.”
As much as I love the complexities of language connections, what I really found entertaining were the many colorful and inventive insults and vulgarities found throughout the novel. Here are some examples:
- Kark – “A kark is a wet fart, by the way, if you’ve never been to Galtia or Norholt. The kind you think will be one thing, but turns out to be the other, to your shame and sorrow.”
- Sprumlet – “A particularly cute tuft of pubic hair.”
- Jilnaedu – Galva’s Ispanthian word: “it’s like idiot, but with meanness. The idiot cannot help himself.”
- Chodadu – Another Ispanthian word, which is an adjective branding you as “f*cked”
There is no lack of action in Kinch’s adventures. He is thrown in jail for rescuing a blind cat (Bully Boy) He, Galva and Norrigal pay for passage on a ship only to end up whaling and fighting Krakens, and there are plenty of fights with drunks, goblins and giants.
While there isn’t so much an organized system of magic, there is plenty of it to go around in Kinch’s world. There are magic tattoos, words, and potions and magic is technically available to anyone who can afford to be educated in its workings. Which brings me to Kinch’s main problem, his debt to the Taker’s Guild. Ahh, student debt… personally I found this very relatable. If only my student loans processors could tattoo my face, I’m sure they would. It turns out The Guild has a lot of power and this is a big problem for Kinch and his companions.
For all the action, adventure and magic that this novel has to offer, there are certainly aspects of horror as well. As you can imagine, this influenced my rating quite a bit as a horror fan. If it’s not the witch walking around on legs chopped from corpses, it has to be the flesh eating Goblins, which showcase Beuhlman’s experience as a horror writer. This is the first book I’ve read by him, but I’ve since added his others to my TBR. The darkness and horror here are offset by Kinch’s dark humor and sarcastic wit, keeping the story just light enough to truly feel like a fantasy.
There’s not much that I didn’t like about The Blacktongue Thief. Lucky for me, it’s prequel The Daughters’ War is set to be published in June of this year. Although, what I really want is a sequel that follows Kinch, this prequel will dive into Galva’s history, which I think will be just as interesting.
While we’re waiting for the prequel, let me know what you thought of The Blacktongue Thief!